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Family Law FAQs

Support for adult children. Debts of a Spouse. Divorce and pensions, property, alimony, and custody.

This manual contains only general information about legal topics. It is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for consulting an attorney about the details of your particular circumstances.

If you have a civil legal concern, you may contact the NH Legal Assistance Senior Law Project for free legal advice. Our toll-free number is: 1-888-353-9944.

Revised February 2021

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Support for adult children

Is there a legal responsibility for adult children to support their parents?

In New Hampshire, adult children owe a duty, and may be forced to support their parents, if the adult child’s income and other resources are more than enough to provide a reasonable subsistence for themselves. Also, if a family member is receiving welfare assistance, the Commissioner of Health and Human Services may request that the Attorney General or County Attorney file an action to force support of such person by his or her mother, father, stepfather, stepmother, son, daughter, husband or wife.

The first step in getting support for a family member is usually done by the Commissioner of Health and Human Services. The Commissioner will ask a family member to help contribute to the needy relative’s support. If the family member refuses, the Commissioner can request that the Attorney General or County Attorney file an action in Superior Court to force the support.

If the family member, without good cause as determined by the court at a hearing, fails to follow a court order to provide for support, then the individual may be found in contempt of court and may be imprisoned for sixty to ninety days.

For more information, please see:

Maybe. If your income and other resources are more than enough to provide for your own support, you owe a duty to contribute and may be held responsible to support your adult child as well. If an individual receives welfare assistance, an action to force support may be brought against his or her father, mother, stepfather, stepmother, son, daughter, husband or wife by the Attorney General or the County Attorney if requested by the Commissioner of Health and Human Services.

The Commissioner of Health and Human Services will first ask an individual’s relatives to provide or contribute to the individual’s support. If the relative refuses to provide support, then the Attorney General or County Attorney may bring an action in Superior Court to compel the support or contribution. If the relative, without good cause as determined by the court at a hearing, fails to provide support ordered by the Superior Court, he/she can be held in contempt of court and imprisoned for sixty to ninety days.

The Adult Assistance Manual promulgated by NH Department of Health and Human Services has developed a formula for determining the relatives’ ability to provide or contribute support for individuals receiving financial assistance through the State Supplement Program (OAA, APTD and ANB).

For more information, please see:

Debts of a Spouse

Am I responsible for the debts of my spouse even if I did not benefit from the goods and services for which the debt was incurred?

Generally, one spouse is not liable for the debt of another spouse if the debt was incurred prior to marriage. However, in New Hampshire, if the debt prior to marriage is so great that it would seem unfair to make only one partner liable for it, then the courts may assign the debt to the other spouse in a divorce.

Also, you may not be held responsible for the debt of your spouse if the debt was incurred primarily for services or goods used solely for the benefit of your spouse and not you. On the other hand, if your spouse is unable to pay, and the services were necessary to the health and well-being of your spouse, you may be responsible for paying the debt (this is known as the “doctrine of necessaries”). For example, if your spouse received necessary medical care and cannot afford the bills incurred, you may be held responsible to pay such bills if the creditor can establish that you were married, and not separated and living apart, and no longer sharing living expenses and debts.

For more information, please see:

Divorce and pensions, property, alimony, and custody

How will my divorce affect my pension benefits?

In New Hampshire, pension benefits are property that has value and are subject to division between husband and wife in the event of a divorce. Thus, if you are getting a divorce and have pension benefits, your spouse is entitled to a certain amount of such benefits. Even if both you and your spouse have separate pensions, both plans will need to be valued and distributed between the two of you.

Pension plans have varying values, so in order to obtain the proper value of your plan you should have it examined by an expert. Generally, the courts will provide the spouse who is not receiving the pension with a buy-out, make an order for a future percentage distribution, or the court may wait until the benefits become due and then order the division of the benefits.

Typically, the spouse receiving the pension benefits from the spouse whose pension it is will only be entitled to a portion of the value of the pension from the date of marriage to the date the divorce action was filed.

For more information, please see:

  • N.H. Rev. Stat. Ann. Ch. 458:16-a – Property Settlement
  • Hodgins v. Hodgins, 126 N.H. 711 (1985)
  • MacDonald v. MacDonald, 122 N.H. 339 (1982)
  • Douglas, 3A New Hampshire Practice: Family Law, 4th Ed. § 19.10

My spouse and I are getting a divorce and cannot agree on how to divide our property. How will the court divide our property?

Marital property usually includes all property that has been acquired by the parties during the marriage and up to the date of a decree of legal separation or divorce.

Usually, the courts will divide the marital property as equally as possible. However, if circumstances exist that would make equal division inequitable, the court may exercise its discretion to distribute more or less property to one of the parties. Some of the factors the court takes into consideration are: (1) the duration of the marriage; (2) the age, health, social or economic status, occupation, vocational skills, employability, separate property, amount and sources of income, needs and liabilities of each party; (3) the actions of either party during the marriage which contributed to the growth or diminution in value of property owned by either or both of the parties; (4) significant disparity between the parties in relation to contributions to the marriage, including contributions to the care and education of the children and the care and management of the home; (5) the fault of either party as specified in RSA 458:7; (6) the value of property acquired before the marriage, and property acquired by gift or inherited; (7) contributions to the education or career of the other party; and (8) any other factors that the court deems relevant.

The statute governing property settlements requires the court to specify written reasons for the division of property that it orders.

For more information, please see:

My spouse and I are getting a divorce. Is it true that I must be totally unable to support myself in order to receive alimony?

Not necessarily. In New Hampshire, spousal need is not limited to the barest necessities, so a spouse may not have to be totally unable to provide for him/herself in order to get alimony.

There are three different types of alimony that a court can award: term alimony, reimbursement alimony, and temporary alimony. Temporary alimony is awarded before a final decree of divorce, legal separation, or annulment is entered by the court. Term alimony is periodic payments made to a spouse after the effective date of the final decree. Reimbursement alimony is payments to a spouse to compensate them for the economic or non-economic contribution to the marriage. You can ask for one or both forms of alimony at a final hearing.

Term Alimony:

The court uses discretion in determining whether alimony will be granted to a dependent spouse. In order to receive alimony, the party in need must show (1) the party has a need for alimony; (2) the party being asked to pay alimony has the ability to pay alimony to the party in need (while still able to maintain themselves); and (3) the party in need cannot provide for their full needs through suitable employment.

The court retains jurisdiction, and may order alimony payments in a lump sum, periodic payments or some combination of both. Alimony is calculated based on 30 percent of the difference between the parties’ gross incomes at the time the order is created, unless the court finds that justice requires an adjustment. If alimony is awarded, it will be for 50% of the length of the marriage or less. For example, if the parties were married for 12 years, alimony will be awarded for 6 years, at most.

The law states that term alimony orders shall end upon the payor reaching full retirement age or actual retirement by the payor, whichever is later, unless the parties agree otherwise, or the court finds that justice requires a different termination date. The individual paying alimony being able to work past retirement age is not of itself a reason to extend alimony.

Reimbursement Alimony:

The purpose of reimbursement alimony is to compensate the payee for economic or non-economic contribution to the financial resources of the payor. The contribution to the payor’s financial resources may include support of education or job training, or an investment of time or money. For example, if the payee works full time to support the payor while they complete a doctorate degree, the payee may argue for reimbursement alimony since the payee supported the payor so the payor could get a higher earning job.

The court must find that the reimbursement alimony order is equitable, and it shall only be in place for 5 years from the final decree, unless the parties agree otherwise.

For more information, please see:

Our son and his wife are getting a divorce. Our daughter-in-law has threatened to prevent my husband and me from seeing our minor grandchildren. Do we have a legal right to see our grandchildren?

Grandparents, including adoptive grandparents, may petition a court for reasonable rights of visitation with a minor child. However, this right is not absolute and is subject to specific conditions provided by statute.

The court will only consider a grandparent’s petition for visitation rights where access to the grandparent has been restricted due to divorce, death, termination of parental rights, or other absence of a nuclear family.

If a prior or current court order restricts the grandparent’s access, the court will not grant visitation rights unless the grandparent gets a modification of the pre-existing order.

The court will consider the history of the relationship between the grandparent and grandchildren; whether this relationship interferes with the grandchildren’s relationship with their parents; as well as other factors, including the child’s wishes and what is in the best interest of the child.

For more information, please see:

My son recently died leaving two small children. He had custody of my grandchildren but now they are with their mother. Is it possible for me to get custody of them?

Yes. You may wish to consider filing for a guardianship order in the Probate Court. Although there are some specific limitations, guardianship offers many of the same benefits as having actual custody. For example, as guardian of your grandchildren, you would be responsible for overseeing your grandchildren’s education, support and routine care, but you would not be personally liable for your grandchildren’s expenses or be liable to third person by reason of the relationship as guardian for acts of the grandchildren. Nor would you be held liable for any injury to the minor as a result of any negligent acts or omissions of third persons unless a parent would have been held liable under the same circumstances.

While New Hampshire law states that the best interest of children generally is to live with their parent(s), situations exist where the best interests of the children require that the children be removed from their home and placed in the actual custody of the guardian. For example, if you can show that your grandchildren’s well-being is at risk by being in the home with their mother, you may be able to get guardianship where your responsibilities include to provide a place for the grandchildren to live under your care.

Guardianship does not relieve the children’s parents of the responsibility of support, and the court can issue a support order. Unless the court orders that the parents are unfit to provide care, they have the right to participate in the care of their children along with the guardian.

To become a guardian, you must file a petition with the Probate Court. In addition to the information required by statute, you must specifically request guardianship, identify who you are, identify the children and explain the nature of your relationship with the children. You also need to make sure that you specify why guardianship would be in the best interests of the children.

Once the guardianship petition is filed, the court will arrange a day for a hearing to be held where you can explain to the court why it is in the best interest of the children to have you as the guardian. Parent(s) can consent to a guardianship. If the guardianship is contested the court might appoint a “guardian ad litem” for the children. A guardian ad litem’s role is to represent the interests of the children. The court must find that a guardianship is in the children’s best interests and decide whether you are fit to be a guardian based on the facts presented.

If the court grants your petition, you become the children’s guardian until you formally resign, are removed by the court, you die, or the guardianship is ended. For example, guardianship can end when the children turn 18 years of age (but can be extended in certain circumstances), or if care is deemed to no longer be necessary for the children. Additionally, the court will require that the guardian post a bond with the Probate Court in an amount determined by the judge.

It is important to review the laws governing guardianship so that you are fully aware of your rights and responsibilities as a guardian. Forms to petition for guardianship are available on the New Hampshire courts website; however, if you wish to proceed with filing for guardianship, you should consult with a lawyer.

For more information on the guardianship of minors, please see:

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This article is meant to help you understand your rights and options. It provides general legal information only, not legal advice. If you have questions about your specific situation, please contact us or speak with an attorney.

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